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I spent the last days since Sunday morning in the hospital. I’d lost pretty much all strength in my left leg and taken a few falls. At the ER I had a few MRIs and an active lesion was found in the right side of my brain. As you may remember from grade school, left brain controls the right of the body, right brain controls the left.

I got out feeling better though the steroids and meds are giving me some wild up and down mood swings which, hopefully, go away soon. The doctors and staff at the hospital were terrific. They helped with all the assistance I needed, scheduled me for free at the MS center and are still working on getting me medication.

I lost my insurance two years ago when I lost the ability to stay on my job. The heat of managing a kitchen was too much for me. So I’ve been without medicine or doctors for 2+years. Miraculously the MRIs showed only ONE new lesion in the brain. Which was active, and only signs of the original lesions otherwise. The bad news was/is that all those years without meds allowed the spread of the disease into the spinal cord. So I have inactive lesions in my cervical spine (neck). These lesions aren’t active but do lead to various pains, motor function problems, and start the road to disability.

I have hope I’ll get some type of assistance or get into a clinical trail. Universal Health Care would’ve been better but, I guess the American people were convinced that they’d rather pay Social Security Disability, Welfare, Medicaid, etc, than contribute to everyone’s well being, including there own. At least I have hope now.

I’ll end this with a story I hope no one EVER has to live through.

I was watching my two year old son. I heard him fussing in the room next to me for a toy he’d gotten stuck somewhere. I walked in got his toy and started walking out of his room when my legs just stopped working. I got my arms up and landed on my side pretty violently on the tile floors of the kitchen.

My two year old tried the pick me up, he pulled on my arms, my shirt, until he realized he couldn’t do it. Giving up, he grabbed my face, gave me a big kiss, and lied down on the floor with me until mommy came to the rescue. It was a loving moment but, as I lay there I thought what if I hadn’t been able to use my arms to protect my head and my little boy was laying next to his dead or dying father.

That’s not a memory I’d ever want to leave him with.

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