Day # almost unbearable to count, I know I’m in the upper 600s and I’m patiently awaiting my Tom and Jerry moment; when I drink a glass of water and watch it come out of me like a sprinkler. It’s become such a daily routine that my 3 year old son yells at me when he’s not allowed to push the button on my Autoject.
I haven’t had an episode since the one night I took two Benadryl and woke up without the use of my legs. I called my mom and dad and struggled to stand up while my toddler lay sleeping in bed. I couldn’t control my urge to urinate while I failed repeatedly to stand up. My dad had needed a break because of his COPD and my son had woken up. I crawled out to the living room, pulled myself up on the couch and, with my son petting my legs with a concerned look on his face, I stood up. I blame that one on the Benadryl, since muscle weakness and loss of balance are the symptoms of taking too much Benadryl.
I’ve met, and attempted to love, some people who in hindsight weren’t worth the time or trouble. Some people don’t appreciate just how much of a gift your time, money, and emotions are when you live with MS, or any other illness, that makes moving and stressing a life or death situation. It seems in the end…
We are all looking for a happily ever after but, most of us only find misery.
I already found my MiSery almost 5 years ago…I don’t have time or energy for the misery you want to bring me. I reserve that energy for my son and my family and my friends, they may bring me stress but, they give me love unconditionally. That’s what we have to focus on, the energy, light, and love that’s in the world for us. We have to take that and carry on.
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