Funny how I sometimes have a hard time remembering yesterday. But, I can remember the day and way I met someone, well, what seems like an eternity ago. I remember meeting my son’s mother (insert HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER omg here). I remember how we drove around in her car, with me trying to hold her hand and kiss her at every red light. I remember when she got a call from her little sister and she asked me if I cared if we went to pick her up at her boyfriend’s? I remember waiting in the car with my AFI hood over my head as she described how her sister’s boyfriend had hit her sister. And keeping that hood on the entire time while we drove her home and she went in to her parents’ house.
I remember all of this, painfully, wishing I had known then what I know now. So I could have approached the start of things differently, and maybe the whole thing would have been different.
But the past, as they say, is a memory. We aren’t together anymore. Haven’t been since this blog was started. She couldn’t forgive my past sins and when she felt that resentment…she couldn’t resist the push apart. And I don’t blame her. I ache over it. I resent the moment of it as I was returning home from an MS-forced hospital stay. But, I truly don’t blame her for any of it. Not all sins can be forgiven or reconciled.
“When routine bites hard. And ambitions are low. And resentment rides hard. But, emotions won’t grow. And we’re changing our ways. Taking different roads. Love, love will tear us apart again.”